Confessions From a Mother
The Plot
“Mom,” my 12-year-old son said, “You shouldn’t be doing that.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I responded, “Your brother won’t mind.”
After all, our 20-year-old son, Grant, home for Christmas, was out with friends. That’s when I did it. I borrowed his MAC laptop to do some research because mine was being repaired.
The Temptation
After starting Grant’s computer, I noticed his homepage was opened to Facebook. With one easy click, I entered a world secret to many parents.
Forgetting all about my research, I began hopping from one Facebook site to another, playing leapfrog. Finally, only after viewing my son’s sites and many of his friends’ sites, I did start my own research.
The Cover-up
Suddenly, the garage door rumbled upwards. Grant was home! I quickly returned his MAC to his room where he had left it. I didn’t want to get caught with the “apple” in my hands.
Later, he asked, “Mom, did you borrow my computer?”
“Yes. Did you mind? I was doing some research.”
“No problem.”
The Redemption
The day before Grant flew back to college, he washed my car out front. As I stood watching him through the window, I thought about him returning to school the next day. What more could a mother want? Grant was doing well in school, worked on campus, volunteered with high school kids, and played intramurals.
My conscious smoldered within me. I hadn’t told the full truth. I felt so ashamed.
Without any delay, I walked out to him and stammered, “Grant, although I did do research on your laptop, I lied to you. I also searched, well–scoured might be more accurate– through not only your Facebook site but also your friends’ sites.
“I know, Mom,” he calmly answered. “I noticed you went through every picture on my Facebook.”
“Grant, I am sorry for lying. For borrowing your laptop without your permission. Will you please forgive me?”
“Sure, Mom, I forgive you.”
The Consequences
A few days later after Grant had left, I realized that I not only lied to him but I also had communicated another message: I don’t trust you.
Devastated, I called Grant and apologized again for not only snooping through his computer, but also for communicating that I didn’t trust him. I reassured him that I did trust him, and I that I was very proud of him. And that I loved him.
But now I would need to regain his trust.
“Grant, I promise that I won’t ever borrow your computer again without asking.”
If only I had listened to the warning from my 12-year-old.
The Prayer
Lord, I really blew it! Thank you that You can fix my if only’s. Please help me to love my son and trust Your work in his life.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you…and you forgave the guilt of my sin.1
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Thank you for sending me your website. I read a few of your stories and they touched my heart and rmeinded me of such familiar converstaions with my own children when they were young. Love, Maureen