The Warning
While in the middle of an argument with my husband, Nate, our 10 year old, interrupted. “Mom,” he calmly said, “Could I talk to you for a moment?”
But like a heat seeking missile locked onto the enemy, I couldn’t divert my present course. So I responded, “Just a moment, son.”
Disregarding Nate’s interruption, my husband, Leon, and I continued to head at one another with top speed. Caught in a relentless dogfight, neither of us showed any signs of surrender. Like a WWII Japanese Zero, I felt determined to claim victory in an air-to-air kill.
Exhibiting excellent verbal maneuvers, I opened fire on Leon. But he dove, rolled left, and circled back. Seconds later, he locked onto my tail wing ready to strike. Then he fired several short verbal bursts.
However, within several minutes of engaging in heavy combat, my warning signals flashed, indicating serious damage. The battle had taken its toll. So I finally aborted my mission.
Drained, I walked across the room and sat on the step next to Nate, who had witnessed the entire dogfight. After sighing, I asked, “What did you want to tell me, son?”
Tenderly, Nate leaned his forehead against mine and peered into my eyes. Then while still pressing his forehead against mine, he gently said, “Mom, that strategy of arguing with Dad isn’t going to work.” He continued, “Dad is getting older…you know how older people are.”
Then he added, “When you told Dad, ‘you should apologize,’ and you just stared at him. Well…you know…that didn’t work. You need to let it go, Mom.”
Hitting the Target
Nate hit the target. Bull’s eye. I thanked him for his wise counsel. And I gave him a hug.
When I tried to extrude an apology from Leon, I had attempted to control and manipulate him. I had acted like the child; Nate had acted like the adult.
Thankfully, later that evening, Leon and I apologized to one another in front of Nate. Although our son had witnessed our foolish behavior, we had a second opportunity to make it right. And peace returned to our home.
During the lifelong process of maturing and learning how to handle conflict, the next time I receive a warning—through the soft voice of a child or the gentle prodding of the Holy Spirit—I don’t want to get trapped in a ruthless dogfight. Instead, I hope to consider other positive options and choose wisely.
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.1
Also check out Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Bravo Nate!
Praising God for the learning opportunity for all of you. Being right sure takes a lot of work and effort - striving for peaces takes one act of kindness and a dose of humility. Praise God for Nate’s tender wisdom!
Your paintings are beautiful! Thanks for joining in our journey following after God’s will for our family.
Blessings and grace,
Jill
You have a special boy, bless his heart.
Hi! I noticed your name on the followers of my blog. Thank you, it’s an honor. Glad to see you there. I read this post, and truly appreciate Nate’s wisdom. May the rest of your day be abundantly blessed.
Words we could all learn from!
What a smart boy you have! I loved his comment about dad getting older :o) But his comment was right on the mark and it’s something we all need to learn. Arguing and strife don’t solve anything. Thank you for that reminder!
And thank you for being a new follower to my blog. I have enjoyed my visit here. Your paintings are beautiful!
Kids are sometimes the gentle reminders from heaven to keep us honest and to keep us to tender loving rather than selfish loving. Thanks for being so transparent.
A hard read because it’s been so true in my own journey of “fighting” things out with my husband.
Beautiful blog…
peace~elaine
Hi Pamela,
I have to chuckle at the way the Word convicts…God put that proverb in front of me precisely at the time I was ready to pick a fight with my husband!
Hi Pamela,
I have to chuckle at the way the Word convicts…God put that proverb in front of me precisely at the time I was ready to pick a fight with my husband!…