As a child in a homeless family, Diana used to dream about escaping the miserable circumstances that life had dealt her. Amazingly, one day she discovered an escape. But it didn’t occur the way she expected. Although her circumstances didn’t change, she learned how to see things differently. Diana tells her story of hope which unfolds in short diary snippets below:

Starting on the wrong foot

At 17 and a senior in high school, my mother gave birth to me. Struggling with alcoholism, my young father would get drunk at bars and get into terrible fights. As a result of the fights, there were many times that he left people for dead. Fearful, he often came home, wondering if he was going to be arrested.

Then one day after threatening divorce, my mother took me away. Our departure saddened my dad. He realized that his family was only thing he had ever loved. Without us, he had nothing.

During that lonely time, my father turned to Jesus and quit drinking. Eventually, my parents got back together, and they committed themselves to follow Jesus. Although my family ultimately experienced transformation, a difficult journey lay ahead.

Struggling with the pressures

In the 1970’s and 80’s, my parents worked as inner city missionaries in New York City, reaching street gangs through a basketball ministry. Over the years, my dad struggled to find ways to support his family and his mission work. At one point, my family lived in a car—with no gas, no money, and no food.

At night, my father sat on the hood of our old car with a baseball bat to protect my mom, my baby sister, and me from the dangers on the New York streets. As a little girl, I felt very scared—not knowing what would happen next. It seemed like no one wanted to help my family or me.

During those years, we lived in awful places with rats and huge cockroaches. While renting a Bronx basement apartment, the gigantic rats—the size of beavers—sometimes fell through the ceiling. Many times my dad went to war with the rats, trying to protect the only food that we had.

One night my mother awoke, horrified to find a huge rat sleeping next to my baby sister. On another occasion while my mom attempted to come out of the bathroom, one of those nasty creatures stopped in front of the door. Feeling trapped, my mom screamed. Then my dad killed the rodent and rescued her.

Fear consumed my life. Once my dad came home and told us about a guy who forced a gun in his mouth; then he told my dad that he was going to blow his head off. The dangers on the streets frightened me.

Discovering answers with a new perspective

Insecurity and uncertainty robbed my childhood innocence. I worried about my family. But one day while my parents worked to bring the hope of Jesus to others, I realized my own desperate need for Him. I wanted Jesus to take away all of my scary circumstances.

I read powerful words from the Bible that changed my life. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”¹ I also discovered one of Jesus’ promises: “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”²

In our small, confined living room, I asked my mom to pray with me. I said, “Jesus, I know my life won’t go well without you. Sorry for my sins and my disobedience. Please come into my life. Thank you for keeping me safe. Amen.”

Reflecting over my life

When I think about how the God of the universe is watching over me and guiding me, I am so comforted. Just as my dad saved my mother from that rat, Jesus rescued me from all my fears and worries. Ultimately, He set me free.

In my childhood, the circumstances around me didn’t change that much. My dad continued to find it difficult to provide for us. But God faithfully provided for my family’s needs. Once while driving on a cross country-trip, the gas needle on our car indicated that we didn’t have any more gas. Although I can’t explain it, our car kept going.

As a child, I looked for someone to come and save me. But no one ever came. However, God never let me starve. Even if it seemed like He waited until the last possible moment, He helped my family every time. Throughout my life, I am still learning that in the worst possible situations when I can’t see Him working, God is still in control. And my hope is firmly anchored in Jesus.

Used by permission

Bible References:

¹John 14:6

² Romans 10:13