Red Jeans Redemption: Tammy’s Story

Red Jeans Redemption: Tammy's Story

Art can provide an open space for the critical exchange of ideas. Due to the harsh realities in this world, at times we need to discuss content that some may find offensive or traumatizing. We try to forewarn about potentially disturbing content, such as the following story about child sexual assault, so you can opt out of reading this particular post.

While I talked on the phone one day with a friend, whom I’ll call Tammy, she said, “I would like to tell you something.” But the phone remained silent for the next couple of minutes. Tammy took a deep breath, struggling to form her words. Finally, she said, “This is hard.”

I waited, feeling her discomfort. After another minute of painful silence, she said, “When I was fourteen, my doctor told my mother that I had a tipped uterus which would prevent me from having children. The possibility of not having children got my mom’s attention. So, when the doctor asked my mom to step out of the room while he treated me, she left me alone with him.”

Over the next several minutes, the doctor sexually assaulted Tammy with his hands under the pretense of a medical treatment. As part of the ordeal, Tammy said that she also saw a “blue flash” go off. Apparently, the doctor collected his own images of child pornography as part of his devious activity.

Because of his position of authority, this doctor was able to coerce an unknowing parent to allow her child to undergo his abusive treatment. All the while, he knew that no child would speak up about something so uncomfortable. But—six decades later—Tammy finally found the courage to talk about her traumatic experience.

The next time we spoke, two weeks later, Tammy told me about the guilt and shame she felt from that doctor’s appointment. I responded, “The guilt and shame belong to the doctor who touched you inappropriately. He is the one who is guilty. Not you.” After we talked about the importance of sharing our painful secrets in a safe environment as part of the healing process, Tammy surprised me by saying, “Please tell my story to help others who have endured similar experiences. Just don’t use my real name.”

We talked about how art can help open the dialogue to talk about tough stories. Art creates an outlet where voices can be expressed and hurts released. Red Jeans Redemption, one of our Healing in Arts projects, gives survivors a platform to speak up about their sexual abuse.

As part of the healing process, we provide a space where individuals have a chance to participate. We ship a pair of red jeans for individuals to decorate if they indicate that they want to be part of the project. This work empowers survivors by giving them a platform to safely—and anonymously—share their stories.

Do you have a sexual abuse story to tell? Be a part of our Red Jeans Redemption project and express your story through art. Message us to get a pair of red jeans to decorate with symbols, words, drawings, patches, paint, beads, etc. Healing in Arts is collecting the jeans for a future exhibit to promote advocacy, restoration, and hope for sexual abuse survivors.

Make a Difference Through Art

Mark's veteran artist painting

Have you ever chosen to do something small that made a big difference in your life?

One U.S. military veteran, let’s call him Mark, reluctantly decided to participate in the 2021 Voices project, featured at ArtPrize in Grand Rapids, Michigan. At the time, Mark’s life seemed quite bleak, in part due to drug and alcohol abuse. Although we were never sure if Mark would attend the art coaching sessions, he showed up and finished his art piece. As Mark’s excitement about his painting continued to grow, he decided to stand near his work every day for the 18-day event and even stayed drug and alcohol free. The following year, Mark surprised us by returning twice to the Voices project. The friendship we had formed gave him an increased sense of hope. Currently, he holds a steady job and continues to do very well!

To empower individuals like Mark through art projects, Pamela Alderman founded Healing in Arts in 2016. This art ministry serves a wide variety of vulnerable individuals, such as veterans, profoundly disabled children, nursing home residents, incarcerated youth, and sex trafficked teens. By expressing themselves through art, those who are hurting can find connections and hope in their lives.

For 2023, we plan to increase the scope of Healing in Arts to reach many more people, drawing them toward community and healing. Currently, we are expanding our creative care art from Michigan to California to Mexico with our partners. But Healing in Arts needs your help to make this happen!

Would you consider making a donation to Healing in Arts, an official 501(c)(3), not-for-profit organization? Your donation will help to purchase and ship art-in-a-box supplies, plus frame and install our collaborative projects. More importantly, you will touch the lives of many more individuals who need healing and hope, just like Mark.

Your dollars will help real people with real impact. You can donate online through PayPal, or mail a check to:

Healing in Arts
PO Box 8342
Kentwood, Michigan 49518

Will you please consider helping Healing in Arts to make a difference with your donation of $25, $50, or $100?

Grateful for each one of you!

Pamela Alderman and the Healing in Arts team

The Scarlet Cord—Sex Trafficking Workshop on Zoom

Arizona high school kids participated in a Healing in Arts sex trafficking workshop

Recently, 75 Arizona high school kids participated in one of the Healing in Arts workshops. After watching The Scarlet Cord film, the students created paintings for their own exhibit on sex trafficking. They also invited family members and friends to write healing messages on 750 wooden hearts. The inspiring notes will be given to survivors at a residential treatment center.

Arizona high schooler student sex trafficking workshop art
Arizona high schooler student sex trafficking workshop art
Arizona high schooler student sex trafficking workshop art
Arizona high schooler student sex trafficking workshop art

For the Do 1 Thing Challenge, we discussed a few possible action steps:

  1. Educate yourself on what it means to get and give sexual consent
  2. Think critically about how the media depicts sexuality
  3. Stop viewing and texting pornography

Healing messages on wooden hearts

The Scarlet Cord, an in-person or virtual workshop for high school students, deals with the topic of human trafficking and fosters empathy and action. The workshop includes the 11-minute Scarlet Cord film, a short presentation, and an opportunity to create an awareness painting. Participants are invited to take the Do 1 Thing Challenge to combat sex trafficking—our modern day slavery.

Arizona high schooler student sex trafficking workshop art

Thanks to all our partners who made this creative care possible!

#sextrafficking #AZ #artistwithoutborders #awareness

Courage for This Hour

Beauty - Part of the Courage Ablaze watercolor painting collection

A decade ago, a group of beautiful women from Congo caught my attention with their brightly colored dresses. When I went over to meet them. I introduced myself as an artist. Immediately, their American sponsor asked if I would be willing to paint their portraits and tell their stories for ArtPrize. This yearly art event hosted in Grand Rapids, Michigan, showcases the work of around 1,400 artists to 600,000 annual visitors. At the time, I knew nothing of Congo. I honestly didn’t even know where Congo was located on the map, other than it was somewhere in Africa.

Over the next year, I immersed myself in the Congolese stories, while painting their portraits for ArtPrize. As I learned about the horrific genocide and rape in Congo, the refugees’ courage, coupled with joy, inspired me. These resilient women caused me to question my life and my response to suffering.

Examples of Courage Ablaze watercolor paintings

Recently, during my Consumers Credit Union interview with their chief marketing officer, Lynne Jarman-Johnson, she asked, “Out of the last eleven years of ArtPrize, which work was the most personally inspiring to you?” I instantly thought of my project with the women of Congo. Their stories of suffering and loss made an impact on how I face hard times, especially as we head into another year of uncertainty—with political unrest, social upheaval, and an unrelenting worldwide pandemic.

Find out more about the interview…

Girls Up Club – Zoom Art Workshop

Girls Up interactive project

For the Girls Up motivational talk with Healing in Arts, I began by sharing how, as a 22-year-old, I was considering an art graduate program on the West coast. But I decided to reset my values and goals, changing directions. Instead, I went to Japan, to teach Japanese people how to speak English. After my talk, the girls colored wooden tiles with colorful patterns and completed the art mystery by building the wooden puzzle that formed a large butterfly. To end our session, I gave this challenge and encouragement: “When we give our lives to others, through whatever career choices we make, one day we will be able to look back and see the vibrant pattern of hope and healing.”

Girls Up Zoom meeting

Color Me Orange Collaboration

Color Me Orange collaborative project

We shared one of our community projects and the corresponding lesson about swimming against the flow of culture with artist Dawn Baker from Alert Ministries. Alert creatively services incarcerated teenage boys at a Dallas juvenile detention center. Due to increased restrictions because of the pandemic, we encouraged Alert to actively seek permission to get the colorful artwork installed inside the boys’ living space—healing art lifts the heart. Previously, no artwork had been allowed, so we felt thrilled to see the finished wooden tiles, painted by thirteen teens, hanging in their common area.

Why Not to Divorce—From a Kid’s Perspective

Divorce message on Pamela's ArtPrize 2013 Wall of Hope

Divorce may be easy to obtain, but it wasn’t always that way. In 1979, Michigan’s law stated that a couple needed to wait a year before obtaining a divorce. Why? Because even the state recognized that everyone benefited when families stayed together. Plus, divorce always incurs a cost, though I’m not talking about dollars.

A new friend recently asked if I would write a letter from a kid’s perspective on divorce, because he and his wife separated. Before I share my thoughts, I’d like to say that as an adult, I understand some marriages struggle with gigantic issues. Several times throughout my own marriage, I have pondered the late Ruth Graham’s words: “Divorce never! But murder…maybe.” Staying married is not always the easiest choice.

My parents ended their marriage in 1979, when divorce in America happened less frequently. Couples still struggled through their issues, but somehow they usually stayed together. As a whole, children often experienced a greater sense of stability because their parents managed to stay married.

A few of my dear friends and family members have suffered through very painful divorces. I respect their decisions. But that being said, I would urge every couple to carefully consider how divorce might affect their children before signing the papers. If you think your kids won’t pay a price, please think again.

Dear Mindy,

Your husband asked me to write this letter, since you are considering a divorce. While I don’t know any details about your marriage, other than that you have children, I humbly write this letter for the sake of your kids.

My parents separated for a period during my middle school years. Because of the stress, my slim, athletic body gained an extra twenty-five pounds in nine months. For the next few years, I struggled with an eating disorder induced by my overwhelming anxiety.

I remember crying every night, praying that my parents would get back together. My dad returned home for a few years. But when I turned 19, my parents permanently split up. To deal with the grief and stress, my eating disorder downgraded, for a period, to bulimia. I struggled with a deep sense of loneliness and suicidal thoughts. I kept asking my parents, “Why did you get a divorce?” It would be a couple more years until I received some answers, which didn’t make things any easier.

Though God helped me navigate those pain-filled years, I wouldn’t wish divorce on my greatest enemy. In a nutshell: Divorce sucks, especially for the kids!

Eventually, years later, both of my parents remarried other people. Just because of the nature of remarriage, the new spouse gained priority status—understandably. But the kids and grandkids could, at times, take what felt like a much lower second place. I thank God that my parents didn’t remarry until years later. As an adult, I could manage my own involvement in those new marriages; young children, though, don’t have the same choice.

The consequences of divorce can last for decades. I struggled with insecurity and fear in the early years of my own marriage. Though my parents divorced over forty years ago, my children and grandchildren still feel the cost. Sadly, every holiday, wedding, or funeral brings back memories of the divorce, because divorce still affects our family relationships every time we gather.

Mindy, if you’re still reading this letter, I implore you to carefully consider how divorce might affect your children and future grandchildren. It’s easy to control young children, but they won’t be untouched. When they grow up, they will make decisions because of your divorce that might inadvertently hurt you. I left my home state, Michigan, because of my parent’s divorce, and moved to California to start a new life. At the very least, your relationship with your children might never be the same.

I have no doubt your hurt is very real. But I humbly ask this: what would it take for you and your husband to reconcile? Would you be willing to give your marriage a second try? Even though we have never met, I would implore you to reconsider your marriage promise—for better or for worse—if for no other reason than for the sake of your children.

Respectfully,
Pamela, a fellow struggler