As a female marine, I learned that the battle within the mind determines one’s overall health. Although I experienced combat duty, the internal battle started years before Iraq. The emotional conflict began in my early childhood.
At age 4, my life changed forever when my parents divorced. I struggled growing up, and my brother and I often felt alone. My mother, a loving, caring soul, struggled with depression and anxiety; however, she did her best to raise us the best she could. My father died at the young age of 47, after a long battle with alcoholism. I was 25 at the time.
As a teenager, I joined the Marine Corps. I wanted to make a difference in our country after 9/11. Before leaving for the Middle East, I married a fellow marine. Within two years, our marriage ended in divorce, because of the strain of military life.
While getting ready to return home, two deployments later, one marine shouted, “If you need a chaplain or medical help, go through these doors.” Except no one wanted to seek help in front of the whole company—the harassment would have been unbearable.
We received a Veteran Affairs pamphlet to deal with insomnia, anxiety, depression, and thoughts of ending it all. No wonder we sought comfort in alcohol and prescription drugs—we needed help.
I met my husband, Kevin, in 2008. We now have 3 kids: Ashlyn, Madisen, and Jackson. We also have a rescue dog named Cooper. My family is my world and a huge reason for my joy and motivation in life.
In 2018, I discovered 92for22, a nonprofit organization that raises awareness for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and veteran suicides, which are at a national rate of 22 per day. I joined their leadership team. Through this organization, I met other combat vets who shared common mental health injuries, like PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
Together, we heal by taking the first step to acknowledge our mental health issues. But overall, I began to win the internal battle when I started a relationship with Jesus, my Savior. God bless and Semper Fidelis.
Darkness to Light – A Woman Veteran’s Life
While deployed in Iraq, I faced an unexpected enemy. The battle came from within our own ranks, and eventually caused me to view men differently. At 19, as one of four women in a “male” corps of around 200 marines, I experienced emotional and sexual abuse during PT, like the gross, degrading comments and unwanted touches—a sly slap on the ass or groping in the front.
During our scheduled “women-only” shower times, some of the male officers would strategically shave in front of the bathroom mirror. My coping mechanism of alcohol and pills just added to the conflict. But years later, after finally acknowledging my mental health struggles and turning to God for help, I started healing. This art piece represents my fight from darkness to light and encourages others to win their battles by not giving up hope.
Our new type of ArtPrize venue gives veterans a voice as they share their stories of struggle and healing through art.
Darkness to Light is showcasing at Veterans Memorial Park
A special thanks to Kent County Veterans Services, Zero Day, Finish the Mission, West Michigan Veterans Coalition, and Healing in Arts for making this collaboration of veteran stories possible.
