Healing Art: PTSD and Soldier Suicide

From the Heart

Hometown Hero II at the Pentagon in Washington DC

In 2016, my work called Hometown Hero II exhibited at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. with Reflections of Generosity—a traveling exhibit that promotes healing for our military families. This year’s work continues to support our military families. The following Let Go letter is about the difficult journey of one Blue Star Mom whose son attempted suicide.

The Blue Star Mothers is an organization made up of moms with a son or daughter in the military. Their goal is to provide support for service members and their families—especially for those struggling with PTSD and soldier suicide. This important letter gives insight into some of the struggles that our military community faces long after the soldier returns home.

Dear M,

I thought the hardest part of our son being in the Army was going to be the deployments. The months without seeing his face. I worried: Is he eating enough? Is he cold? Is he doing okay?

But now we are now dealing with his PTSD symptoms and attempted suicide. It’s been eight months since he tried to pull the trigger. Thankfully, the blessed gun jammed.

Even after months of treatment, his wife doesn’t want him in the house. She says she is afraid. So he is staying with us, but he doesn’t sleep much. I listen to him pacing the floor at night, and I cry. Why can’t I help him?

It was so easy to take care of him when he was little—even when he got hurt. I could just talk to him and things would be all better. Life isn’t that simple anymore. He just goes to work and to his counseling appointments—that is his whole life now.

I want my son back. I feel like watching his internal battle is slowly killing me. I’m now choosing to let go of my lack of control. I need to take this step for my own emotional healing.

Miss you,
J

Note: One hundred twenty-six participants pre-submitted Let Go letters and sentences to be collaged into the painting. The names and some details have been changed to protect identities.

Bloomfield Hills School Joins ArtPrize

Behind the Artwork

Hand written letting go of anger statement

“I am letting go of anger because I don’t want anger to stop me.” Signed, CJ

Third grader CJ with other Lone Pine Elementary School classmates in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan participated in my ArtPrize Nine installation. Their assignment was to write Let Go sentences and choose an assumed name to protect the children’s identity. Their teacher said the students really enjoyed getting to make up their own fictitious names.

When the other third grade teachers heard about the opportunity, they didn’t want to miss out. So their classes wrote Let Go sentences too. Here is a sample of the third grade Let Go submissions:

I am letting go of lying because I lie to my mom and dad.
Signed, Jacqui

I am letting go of third grade because I’m graduating to fourth grade.
Signed, Riley

I am letting go of being scared of loud noises. I will face a fire drill.
Signed, Scarlett

I am letting go of not including everyone. I think that people will be sad.
Signed, Carly

I am letting go of perfection because I want to be myself—the self that is not perfect!
Signed, Dalila

I am letting go of insecurity because I am insecure going places and meeting new people!!
Signed, Ellen

I am letting go of a toxic person because they are really rude to me and slow me down in life.
Signed, Pearl

I am letting go of playing American football because you can get injured really easily, so I’m gonna play baseball instead.
Signed, Henrik

I am letting go of attitudes because I really want to be a great student and do my best and get good grades.
Sincerely, Stephanie

I am letting go of swimming in shallow water because I want to push myself to become a better swimmer.
Signed, Margo

Teacher

I am letting go of “easy,” because I want to do hard things that will challenge me to be the best ME.

Note: One hundred twenty-six participants pre-submitted Let Go letters and sentences to be collaged into the painting. The names and some details have been changed to protect identities.

Let Go: Interactive Art Brings Healing

Behind the Artwork

ArtPrize Nine: Let Go in progress

One hundred twenty-six participants pre-submitted Let Go sentences that were collaged into my ArtPrize Nine painting. One letter stated: “I forgive you for the pain you caused, and I release you from any responsibility to heal me.”

After reading this profound statement, I contacted the writer to see if she would be willing to share her story. She agreed. The following vignette shows the healing progression from a wounded heart to extending forgiveness to finally letting go. In many cases, the journey towards healing can be difficult but not impossible.

Mom,

You said that I shouldn’t be affected by your decision to divorce my dad. What you didn’t realize was that you not only closed yourself off from Dad, but from me as well. When you would shut yourself away in your room and tell me not to bother you, I learned that I no longer had a mother to depend on; I had to fend for myself.

When I left for work one day, you changed the locks to prevent my dad from coming in. But you didn’t realize this: you shut me out too. Over and over, you chose your “freedom” and your “own” path, in exchange for me. Your choices cut a deep wound in my heart.

Then one day, I realized that you would probably never apologize, so I needed to forgive you or my bitterness would end up consuming me. I had to accept you for being you, instead of wishing you were some other mom.

Mom, I’m letting go of my expectations of what our relationship should look like. I forgive you for the pain you caused, and I release you from any responsibility to heal me.

Love,
Your daughter

Let Go and Keeping Hope Alive

Karen was sexually abused as a child. Although her parents ignored the situation at the time, she is now, as an adult, seeking the necessary professional help. Amazingly, interactive art has been part of her healing journey.

I am letting go of the emotional and physical abuse. I’m going for help. Letting go of the anger releases me from resentment and frustration. Just writing this helps me to understand how wrong the abuse is and that I do not need to own it.

Signed, Karen

Note: One hundred twenty-six participants pre-submitted Let Go letters and sentences to be collaged into the painting. The names and some details have been changed to protect identities.

ArtPrize Nine: Let Go

Behind the Artwork

Let Go in the studio

ArtPrize Nine Let Go by artist and facilitator Pamela Alderman will be showcased at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel from September 20 through October 8, 2017. The 19 x 6 foot mixed media painting is made of acrylic, paper, and transparent fabric on five wood panels. One hundred twenty-six participants pre-submitted handwritten Let Go sentences and letters that are now collaged into the painting.

Like many of Pamela’s past ArtPrize installations, visitors can interact with the work by writing their own Let Go sentences. The artist statement below explains how individuals may respond at the Let Go installation. Here are a couple of examples of the Let Go statements from the ArtPrize audience:

I’m letting go of your need to let go.
Signed, your wife

I’m letting go of self-blame for my son’s autism diagnosis.
Signed, your mother

Several people have attested to the healing they experienced as they wrote their Let Go statements. One participant said, “While thinking about what to write, I realized that I hadn’t forgiven my dad.” The pent up anger had been festering inside of him—even though his dad had been dead for thirty years. So he wrote a Let Go letter and forgave him. In doing this, he experienced a new freedom and healing at an art exhibit.

Artist Statement

…it takes much more strength to know when to let go…
Ann Landers

Let Go in progressLife’s ebb and flow eventually may bring us to a healing place. At times, we feel like we’re drowning in the sea of despair, defeat, or disappointment. But transformation can occur if we are willing to accept change. Once we muster the courage to let go of whatever is dragging us under, a tiny lifeline of hope reaches back through the breakers to keep us afloat.

Invitation: Viewers Participate

Write a couple of words on the vellum paper to identify your struggle—the thing that is weighing you down—like control, fear, unforgiveness, etc. Just writing the words activates the healing process.

Next, crumple this paper. As you release the crumpled paper, it symbolically becomes one with the painting—mixing with the waves and being carried out to sea. Experience a new level of peace and soul healing as you begin to release the past or the present. So crumple the paper—and let go.

What are you letting go of?

Addictions
Anger
Anxiety
Bitterness
Control
Doubt
Expectations
Failure
Fear
Grudges
Guilt
Insecurity
Judgment
Lies
Memories
Misfortune
Mistakes
Pain
Perfection
Pride
Shame
Worry

 

A special thanks to PlexiCase Inc and Moonlight Graphics for their generous support!

ArtPrize Nine 2017!

General

Detail of Let Go

ArtPrize Nine, Let Go (detail shown), Pamela Alderman, 19 x 6 feet, Multi media, 2017

I’ve actually lived through eight ArtPrizes, earned all eight t-shirts, and watched amazing provisions unfold over the past eight years. But even after eight years of ArtPrize experience, these questions still haunt me: Will I be able to pay for my big ideas? Will I be able to secure a top venue? Will my work communicate hope and healing? The struggle is always ongoing. But, thankfully, donors, the perfect venue, friends, and volunteers, come together every single time! All arrive as special gifts.

In September, my new interactive healing installation, Let Go, will debut at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel for ArtPrize Nine.

Be an art patron! Purchase one of Pamela’s unique paintings to help fund her ArtPrize 2017 interactive healing installation.

Enjoying Summer!

It’s time to power down for the summer. See you back in September for Let Go at ArtPrize Nine. Enjoy barbecues and sunshine with your family and friends!

About ArtPrize

Since 2009, ArtPrize is the world’s largest open art competition. This 19-day event in Grand Rapids, Michigan draws more than 500,000 visitors with around 1500 participating artists. This unique event involves local and international artists, art, and active community participation. Veteran ArtPrize artist and facilitator Pamela Alderman is known for creating a new kind of artist/viewer work that invites audience collaboration. Her work lets others speak and respond. In 2015, her work, Hometown Hero, was voted into the Top 20 and finished 3rd Place for Time-Based exhibits. Pamela has been an ArtPrize artist since 2009.