Words Can Simply Kill

By guest writer Brittany Costantini

My story does not begin with being shoved into a locker or being physically harmed in any way. I was never bullied to the point of not wanting to go to school because I was scared of what would happen. However, I was bullied in a way that has affected who I am today.

When I was in grade school, I would often get picked on for being short. Now, I know, that is a common thing that happens to a lot of kids. But I got upset about it. I started learning that words can hurt just as much as a punch to the face.

High school is supposed to be the “best years of your life.” I found high school to be a daily struggle of constantly trying to find who my friends are. I had classmates picking on me because I have bad acne. I had friends criticizing me for being religious. I had coworkers stereotyping me as a nerd.

And me? Well, I bought into all the lies that everyone else was telling me. I would never be good enough, I would never be pretty enough, and I did not have the skills necessary to be successful.

People’s words had diminished my confidence. I was one of those people who was just going through the motions in order to get through the day.

Since graduating high school in 2014, though, I have learned a lot about myself, and I have grown from my experiences with bullying. I have learned to be the bigger person and not believe everything that others say. I have tried my best to watch what I say about other people because I never want anyone to feel less worthy because of something I say.

Any form of bullying, big or small, needs to be stood up against. Kindness is so precious and powerful that I strive to spread it each day. No child should be put down through words or actions.

Words can kill. Kill confidence. Kill motivation. And sometimes, in the worse cases, simply kill. That is something I will never forget.

Color Me Orange—Color Me Kind

ArtPrize Eight (2016) Artist

Coloring with Kindness
Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum
September 21 to October 9, 2016
Vote 62626
(Located outside on the museum plaza)

Tell Us Your Story. #ColorMeKind

Watch the Color Me Orange—Color Me Kind video…

Courage Ablaze Continues to Ignite Hearts

7 foot pillars and other elements of the Courage Ablaze installation

Courage Ablaze tells the story of the innocent women and children caught in the crossfire of annihilation in the Eastern Democratic Republic of Congo. Though the fires of adversity scorched their families, these fierce women are salvaging what’s left and starting over. Since first debuting at ArtPrize 2012, I completed twenty-five additional portraits and recorded several more Congolese stories.

Courage Ablaze watercolor paintingFrom ArtPrize 2014 to several solo shows including the last exhibit at Michigan State University, Courage Ablaze acted as a catalyst to open hearts. Though the work told the stories of Congolese women half a world away, several American visitors confided their own rape stories. Courage Ablaze facilitated small steps towards healing as individuals shared their pain. I’m grateful for the opportunities to touch so many visitors with the untold story of DRC Congo.

A Tip of the Hat to My Congolese Friends

Loyalty - watercolor painting from the Courage Ablaze seriesI would like to acknowledge the Congolese leaders who kindly supported Courage Ablaze throughout the last few years. Kizombo Kalumbula, a naturalized Congolese pastor and director of International Berean Ministry, joined me in several presentations by educating the audience on the reasons for the conflict and the complex history of the region. Le Clay, Congolese refugee singers from the Leon Lusamba family, helped humanize the statistics by singing Congolese songs in French, Lingala, and Swahili at our presentations. Florimond and Jeannette Kabanda from Congo International Ministries and Paul and Charlotte Mpindi with Mission French Africa have also supported the work. I would also like to thank the numerous Congolese models and storytellers for their courage and vulnerability in allowing their lives to be portrayed with paint brush and pen.

Nibito’s Story

The Congolese women first captured my heart back in 2011. Since that time, I have been continually amazed at their strength and valor. A few months ago, I saw a video of a Congolese woman being reunited with her children after years of separation. The happy family laughed, hugged, and danced. But another woman near the end of the video caught my eye, a woman whom I happened to know. I’ll call her Nabito. Nabito was separated from her child years ago when rebel soldiers raided her Congolese home. In all probability, Nabito will likely never see her child again. Yet, in the video, she was laughing, hugging, and even dancing along with the other family as they celebrated their reunion. As I watched the video, Nabito’s gratuitous generosity moved me to tears.

The Congolese women, women like Nabito, have expanded my definition of courage. Their tremendous strength of character, their determination to survive, in spite of enormous loss, inspires me. These Congolese women have taught me new lessons on how to respond to adversity. Truly, these women and children are my heroes.

The Work Lives On

Love - part of the Courage Ablaze watercolor seriesIn June, Courage Ablaze joined the permanent collection at Bethany Refugee and Immigration Services where the art will continue to tell the story of the women and children of DRC Congo. Bethany has the resources to reach beyond my influence, as a culture care artist, for the Congolese people.

So the past five years of work with my Congolese friends reaches a transition. The journey has been difficult. It isn’t easy telling the stories of immense atrocities and pain. After loading the truck and watching the artwork leave my studio, I felt a sense of release. Deep satisfaction. Up to this point, I have done all I can do for the Congolese people. Perhaps, one day, I may highlight the courageous stories and artwork in a book—and maybe even travel to Africa. But for now, I pray that Courage Ablaze continues to ignite a fire of hope beyond anything I could ever imagine and that peace will ultimately prevail for these beautiful women and children of DRC Congo.

Healing in Arts

Mother and children hang Hope Cards on Healing TreeHealing in Arts successfully creates community with a new healing paradigm for art making in a world where rapid cultural fragmentation alienates us. A superficial world where people ricochet from one activity to the next. A cyber culture where we rack up 5,847 synthetic Facebook friends. A culture where we spend less and less real face time within meaningful relationships.

Well-known artist Makoto Fujimura explains how my art facilitates healing: “Art that focuses on the audience rather than the artist’s need for self-expression is unique. A paradigm shift.” By serving others and inviting soul care, the art helps unlock people and move them towards human flourishing.

For example in 2014 after viewing The Scarlet Cord, an anti-sex trafficking installation, a middle-aged woman leaned into me and released a heavy sigh, I felt it to the core. Then she walked away. Not a single word was spoken. But something transpired. Whether large or small, this woman experienced healing—at an art installation.

In the midst of our rapid growing cyber culture where increased isolation breeds loneliness, the viewers feel validated and cared for; their stories underscore the need for creating donor supported Healing in Arts. Time and again visitors experience what T.S. Eliot calls the still point: A significant place in time. A moment of release where change and transformation begin. Healing in Arts, through the art making, builds healthy communities where real people experience renewal and healing.

I know many of you will want to help make Healing in Arts happen.
Donate through New Horizons Foundation

Project name: Healing in Arts

The Scarlet Cord at Manasseh Project

Scene from The Scarlet Cord video

That night I couldn’t sleep. Images of humans displayed like animals in a pet store window haunted me.

When I was nineteen, while traveling through Europe, our tour bus stopped at the Red Light Windows of Amsterdam. As I stood in the middle of the district, window after window displayed women perched on chairs—selling their bodies. Next to each window was a door; a steady stream of men flowed in and out of each door.

The IMPACT

I didn’t know that during my trip—the enormous abuse and degradation of women I had witnessed would grow into an ArtPrize art installation one day to help raise awareness for the children who are sex trafficked in Amsterdam or Thailand or even Grand Rapids.

Seattle Art Journey

Charcoal study portraitThe Gage Academy of Art challenged me to change. For seven hours every day in this Seattle art school, I studied classical portrait drawing followed by private tutoring in figure drawing each evening.

Then one day there, a stranger gave me a gift of words. After I ran into an elderly Chinese gentleman in the morning and again in the evening, he asked, “You were in class all day, and you are studying again in the evening?”

I answered, “Yes.”

“You will reach success because of your will,” he replied. “You are willing to work very hard.”

Although it has been a great opportunity to further my education, it will take a tremendous amount of commitment to sharpen my skills. Persistence pays. I hope to be a life-long learner. And I hope this stranger’s right.

My father had a very simple view of life; you don’t get anything for nothing. Everything has to be earned, through work, persistence and honesty. Grace Kelly

IMAGE: Study, Pamela Alderman, Charcoal on paper, 18 x 24 inches, 2016

Flourishing Through Art

Trees

The cultivation of trees is the cultivation of the good, the beautiful, and the ennobling in man. J. Sterling Morton

My dad loved to plant trees. His love for trees inspired my husband and me to plant a tree everywhere we lived from California to Philadelphia to Denver to Germany to Grand Rapids.

One of my last memories of Dad was when we planted seedlings along the highway with my two oldest children. Somehow he had talked us into helping him plant hundreds of seedlings—an opportunity I didn’t exactly appreciate at the time.

Only a few short months later, my brother called to say, “Pamela, Dad died.” At the funeral, a speaker said that my father handed out dozens of seedlings to a group of children for their moms on Mother’s Day. That story warmed my heart.

As I think back over the memories of my dad, I realize how much he impacted me and my artwork. He taught me how to plant trees, and he taught me how to sketch on paper napkins after dinner.

I now use my artwork to plant seeds of healing. Over the past nine years, my work has represented heart and cancer patients, Congolese women and children, children on the autism spectrum, children enslaved in sex trafficking, and for ArtPrize Seven, my work will focus on hometown heroes. May my artwork inspire you to plant seedlings in your communities with the talents and opportunities that you have been given.

Love,
Pamela

PS I look forward to seeing you at my seventh year at ArtPrize in September! Hometown Hero will be featured at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Grace Shining

Rose in lock on storage container door

The young woman divulged details about her perpetrators. Tragic stories. One man was a community leader. An authority figure in her life. Another was a family member. The sexual abuse lasted for more than a decade during her childhood.

At The Scarlet Cord installation, this young woman quietly approached me and asked for a scarlet cord bracelet. As I tied on the bracelet, she burst into tears. More of her story spilled out. We embraced.

“The shame and the guilt of your sexual abuse,” I said, “belongs to your perpetrators. The individuals who committed the sexual crimes against you.” Our eyes locked; she never even blinked. “The shame and the guilt doesn’t belong to you.”

She cried again.

One of her perpetrators told her that she had invited the abuse by being seductive. “His accusations are part of the abuse,” I said. “Children don’t solicit sexual abuse; children are the victims.”

I gave her one of the “Healing” necklaces that my friend designed. As part of The Scarlet Cord outreach, a friend purchased the beautiful “Healing” necklaces and added a tiny scarlet bead to each one. The young woman tearfully clasped the necklace to her heart. “This gift will be cherished forever.”